


Gone Too Soon

by bellamouse16



Series: Hank Voight x Reader (OC) Imagines - Chicago P.D. [15]
Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Child Death, Children, Death, Emotional, F/M, requested on tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 15:40:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13814262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellamouse16/pseuds/bellamouse16
Summary: After Y/N and Hank lose their son, they must deal with a case that hits close to home.





	Gone Too Soon

**Author's Note:**

> This was requested by an anon on tumblr. I decided to post it here too for anyone who reads my Hank Voight x Reader fics.
> 
> Warnings: Child Deaths (felt I should put this warning since I usually don’t kill kids off in my fics)
> 
>  

 

It had been a struggle to deal with it when they had lost their son.  It wasn’t the first child Hank lost, but that didn’t make it any easier to deal with.  The only difference was that it was Y/N’s first time losing a child, her first child.  She was only in her late 30’s and she’d already lost a child.  Hank needed to be here for her.  He had to be her rock in her moment of need, just like she had been for him when Justin was killed.  Their son, Jake, had only been 4 years old.  He’d been kidnapped and killed while the two of them were on the job.  Some gang Hank pissed off decided they would get even and took him from his pre-k, terrifying all the children there in the process and injuring the workers.  That had been almost two years ago.  The news shattered Y/N to the core.  It was clear to the entire district that Y/N was not the same bright eyed and determined detective she once was.  The entire ordeal aged her years beyond her own.  Now, she was colder, more despondent.  Where she once pushed to help people, she now fought to punish those who did wrong.  She was critical of everything.  It had taken a long time for the team to even see a glimmer of who she once was.  To everyone, they’d just assumed the Y/N they knew was long gone.  Maybe pieces of who she was would shine through on occasions, but they knew better than to get their hopes up.  But Hank knew they were wrong.  Y/N was still there.  But her broken exterior had put up so many walls to try and prevent this from happening again.  Hank just knew it would all come crashing down on the two of them soon enough. 

Today, it was around the same time of year when Jake had been killed.  When they woke up on this crisp Chicago mid-winter day, Hank could tell something was wrong.  He didn’t know what exactly, but he could tell it would be one of those days just by the slight curve in Y/N’s back and the red eyes she tried to hide from him when she walked out from the bathroom and ate breakfast on the opposite end of the table.  He hadn’t wanted her to go into work, but there was nothing he could say that would sway her.  So now, here they were.  Y/N and Kim arrived on the scene first.  Y/N got out of the car, listening absentmindedly to Kim rattle on about her and Adam’s off and on again relationship.  Y/N liked Kim.  She didn’t need to talk around Burgess, and she often answered her own questions half the time.  They walked over to the taped off area. Peering at the cops who had gotten there first when the call came over.

“What do we got here?” Y/N questioned, digging her hands into her pockets to warm them from the cold air. 

One of the cops shook his head.

“It’s awful.”

They lifted the sheet to show a young child, probably around 4 or 5 years old, dead.  A bullet wound was in his head, almost execution style.  Y/N felt her throat tighten.

“Y/N,” Kim said softly, trying to get the detective to look away from the body.

Y/N ignored her, trying to remain calm, something she’d taught herself in the aftermath of Jake’s death.  It was the only way she could function even partially normally.

“Do we know who this is?

As Y/N questioned the cop at the scene, the rest of the team showed up.  The moment Hank saw the child, he knew this wouldn’t go well.  It always pained him to see a child dead, but his first instinct was to make sure Y/N was alright.  At only 38, she’d already lost a child, something no mother should have to go through.  Ow, they had to a solve a case where a child had been brutally killed.  Once the entire team regrouped, all tensely maneuvering around Y/N, they divided up to start gathering more information.  Hank pulled Y/N to the side, telling Alvin to go with Kim while Y/N drove back to the station with him.

“I’d understand if you needed time,” Hank said while driving.

“I’m fine.”

Y/N’s tone was sharp and definitive.

“Y/N,” Hank responded, equally sharp in his tone and rigid body language behind the wheel.

His protests fell on deaf ears.

“No, Hank.  We’re finding whoever killed that child,”

They continued to the drive silently.  Hank didn’t speak for fear he might say something to push her away or further upset her.  He knew that beneath her tough façade, Y/N was breaking.  It was only a matter of time.  He parked in the garage, turning off the car but not getting out.

“You don’t have to put up a face.  Everyone would understand it you couldn’t handle...”

Y/N cut Hank off.

“I’m fine.  So, unless you’re telling me I can’t work on this case as my boss, I’m going to work on the case,”

Before Hank could respond, Y/N was out of the car, slamming the door behind her.

It had been a tough few days.  Hank and Y/N danced around one another carefully.  Hank couldn’t tell this was breaking Y/N, and that was killing him.  He wanted nothing more than to bring this child’s killer to justice.  He didn’t care if it was by putting him behind bars or dumping him in the canal.  As much as Hank wanted to send Y/N home, he knew that would be crossing the line they had carefully created when they first started to date, and later got married.  If he pulled her now, he’d be crossing than line tenfold.  Now they were home, still maneuvering around one another.  Even though they had eaten dinner at the same table, they were miles apart.  Hank broke the silence as they laid together in bed.

“Y/N, are you okay?”

His gruff voice jolted Y/N from her thoughts.  They both knew the answer to that question, but she still shook her head slowly.

“No, Hank.  But we need to get through this case,” 

As she closed her eyes, leaning her head against Hank’s chest, he heard her speak softly.

“I just need to.”

He wrapped his arms around her, one hand brushing through her hair to lull her to sleep.

It took another two days, but they finally got the guy.  The child had been killed by his biological father, a man who had believed the kid to be the product of his wife’s cheating.  The entire situation was devastating and tragic.  Y/N was finishing up her report for the case when Jay placed a hand on her shoulder.

“You alright, Y/N?”

Y/N didn’t trust herself to not start crying from the emotional toll the case had dealt her, so she just nodded.

Jay looked at her wearily but didn’t pursue it anymore.  Instead, he glanced at Hank, making eye contact with him, as if to signal that Y/N needed her husband.  Hank caught the look.

“You guys can leave as soon as you finish up.  Y/N, I need you in my office for a second.”

Y/N sat for a moment, silently starring at the paper in front of her before getting up from her desk.

“Shut the door behind you.”

Y/N closed the door gently, noticing the blinds were closed in Hank’s office.

She didn’t get the chance to sit since Hank immediately pulled her into a hg.  Y/N broke down sobbing into his chest.

“He was only 4.”

Hank held her close.

“I know.”

“I just want him back.”

“I know.  I do too.”

They stood there silently while Y/N’s sobs were the only noise in the room.  When she stopped crying, Hank held her away from him, brushing a stray tear from her cheek.

“I’m sorry for how I’ve been.  You lost him too,” Y/N said, hanging her head in disappointment of herself.

In her grief, she had left Hank on his own to deal with it.  Hank shook his head.

“No, I understand.”

“But you need me too, and I wasn’t there for you,” Y/N protested, finally looking up at him.

“Y/N, you’ve been there for me so many times.  It’s been my turn to be here for you.”

“I don’t deserve you,” Y/N said as she brushed a hand against Hank’s cheek.

“That’s nonsense.  I love you so much, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Hank,” Y/N said as he pulled her back into his embrace. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed that. As always, comments are appreciated.


End file.
